just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize