i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
