If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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