oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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