My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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