I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
