OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
