Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
