Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
