we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
