apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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