my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A bitchslap is in order.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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