he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
