At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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