We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
