white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
