I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize