i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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