Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
