so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
