i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
