i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
