oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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