I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
