I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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