please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
