I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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