I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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