we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
