but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
