I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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