We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
