what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
