Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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