I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
