Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
