I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
