I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
