around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
