Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize