I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
