Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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