We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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