If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
