he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
