she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize