I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
