That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
