Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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