You really coming over, don't trick.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
