Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
