do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize