i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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