Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
