i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
