I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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