I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
