so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize