I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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