Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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