CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
